They said it would be quick

Quicker than a bullet through what brain we had left

Blowing out a candle

Or shattering glass jaws

One right hook, click of a trigger and we would be gone to it

They were wrong.

It took us three weeks to move on

We tried to sweat it out, like our bodies were open taps and waterfalls of salt and evil

Our eyes glazed over to stop us seeing what we had become


We became monsters feeding on whatever we could find to try and fill the spaces we knew were there

Lungs fighting themselves like the starving over food, cracking under the pressure

Half full of unfinished words too heavy to push back up

Our skulls slowly emptied as memories of conversation and love circled the drain of our spine draining out of our hollow bones into every extremity as they became numb

We lost our humanity to the nothingness

All we were left was the hunger and nightmares of gnashing teeth like applause of ivory for every inch we shuffled

We became monsters

Built monuments of flesh,

inside our stomachs groaning under the weight of memory we absorbed

We put the old world into the safest place we had

Making a city of friends and neighbours in our gut

And wishing every day they would rip themselves out again and drag us with them out of the shell we were lost in

We were landmines too rusted to survive a winter alone but alive enough to create bodies to keep us warm

Sometimes I am grateful we cannot feel

Cannot see what we have done, hear the cracking of bones under our feet.


We are monsters now

Shark headed men and women

Learning about the world through our teeth

We see the beauty of being alive in the smell of blood

We are dragons hording souls

Homeless trolls looking for bridges that weren’t burned in the panic of patient zero

We are zombies, hungry landmines

And we will always be hungry


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